Sound familiar? You promise yourself you’ll say no, you won’t take on too much, this relationship will be different. Then the moment comes, and almost as if watching yourself, you do the same thing again. Afterwards the inner voice arrives: “here we go again.”
I want you to know: this isn’t weakness, and it doesn’t depend on how strong your willpower is.
What decides beneath the surface
Most of our everyday decisions aren’t made consciously. Since childhood, experiences, sentences and feelings have built beliefs within us: “I’m only loved if I please others”, “I have to solve everything alone”, “I mustn’t make mistakes”. Once, these protected us. They helped us find our way.
As adults, though, they often no longer serve us – yet they still react for us, faster than we could think a situation through. That’s why you may know exactly what you want in your head, while your actions take you elsewhere.
How to recognise your own patterns
Notice what repeats in your life. Similar situations at work, similar feelings in your relationships, the same tightness when you hear certain sentences.
Notice the words “always” and “never” in your thoughts. “I always give in.” “It’s never enough.” These are often the voice of a deeper belief.
And notice your body. Subconscious patterns often show up first as tense shoulders or a knot in the stomach, before they reach your thoughts.
Recognition is the first step
Simply seeing that this is a pattern – not who you are – already brings change. A small space opens between the trigger and your reaction, and in that space you can choose.
Understanding a pattern is often not enough on its own, though. Real movement comes when the belief is rewritten at a deeper level, and the new choice becomes natural rather than an effort.
How we work with this together
In our work we first look at which beliefs are guiding you right now. With coaching questions, the practice of conscious presence and, if you wish, the PSYCH-K® method, I support you in replacing beliefs that no longer serve you with ones that support your life and goals today.
I don’t tell you what is right for you. I hold the space, ask questions and walk alongside you – the answers are yours.
If you’d like to look at what keeps repeating in your life, let’s start with a free 15-minute intro call. You are warmly welcome.
— Beáta