Family in the morning, work during the day, friends, parents and the household in the evening. Everyone gets a piece of you – and at the end of the day you realise there is nothing left for yourself. If this sounds familiar, you are not alone, and there is nothing wrong with you.
Where does people-pleasing come from?
Many of us learn as children that we are lovable when we are useful. This pattern follows us into adulthood: we say yes when we would like to say no, and we explain ourselves when we simply want to rest.
One question that can change a lot
Next week, before you say yes to something, pause for one breath and ask yourself: “Am I doing this out of love, or out of fear?” You don’t have to change anything straight away. Noticing is enough.
Small steps towards your own space
This week, set aside one half-hour that is only yours. Put it in your calendar like any other important meeting. This isn’t selfish: it is the foundation for being truly present for the people you love, in the long run.
If you would like to look at where your life is right now and what you need most, a conversation can help you take the first step towards change.
— Beáta